stay

i've realised that i have fixation for themes of light, brightness and 'better'ness. a part of me is never settled, which is something i already now. but i come to figure that my unsettled and fixated part that constantly hopes to be 'better' assumes that rest of me remains in the state of darkness. whenever i feel trapped in the person that i am or get down on me, i end up wishing to be consumed by light until every defected part of me disappears. i guess my ideal-self is overexposed... in such a way that majority of the details that makes me "me" is ought to dissolve in light so that i can finally be 'better'. if your best wishes about yourself involve massive amount of self-destruction and reconstruction, how can you ever have peace in mind?

food for thought...